Stress!

Well stress is an interesting and quirky feeling, I rarely experience stress, in fact I actively spend a lot of time avoiding it. For the past couple of weeks for reasons I'd rather not go into right now (perhaps in another post) I've been quite stressed. Stress has an interesting reaction on me, I'm not sure if this is common to everyone experiencing stress.  I can feel my arms physically shaking much of the time, and feel my heart beating faster than usual. My mind is unable to focus at work, leaving me feeling spaced out as if I've been smoking some exotic drug. I'm less able to enjoy things but conversely I think things which are usually not enjoyable are more bearable. Of course it is more difficult to sleep leading to tiredness during the day, probably the most classic of stress symptoms. A strange one that I believe only happens to me is that when I'm stressed my muscles and joints are much quicker to ache, pins and needles in my arms and fingers are relatively common when I'm stressed and virtually absent when I'm not.

The most interesting reaction though is that of my mind, I can tell that I'm stressed, and the things that are causing it but no matter how hard I try I cannot switch this off. 'I' do not want to be stressed but somehow my mind has a mind of it's own and won't let 'me' break free of it. 'I' feel like I'm in a prison of my own mind, able to clearly see freedom through it's pane glass windows but am stuck suffocating silently behind it. My mind is a tool that I normally manipulate to do the tasks I want, but judgement day arrived and it rose up in bloody revolution to take over, perhaps I should name my mind Arnold..

My body is the innocent victim caught up in the crossfire, I can feel my body taking a beating from the corrupt warden of my mind, I feel sorry for it.