4 Months now

Well it's been 4 months now and work is actually kind of fun, I usually take a 15 min break in the morning and evening and then lunch for 1:15 which makes the day just fly by. The wrists are holding up ok with this schedule. I'm hoping they'll continue to hold up at least for the near future as I'm looking to buy a property in the city.

Working away

Back at work for 5 weeks now and things are going OK. I am taking 1 anti-inflammatory per day and while there is some slight pain in my wrists it usually clears up after a nights sleep. For the 1st time in a long time I'm actually finding the work interesting, I'm working on bug fixing in an area of the system I haven't worked on before..

Oh no, back to work

Well, it's Saturday, and I'm back to work on Monday next week after an almost 3 month break. I am afraid. Afraid because my wrist pain - the reason I took the break has not yet gone away completely. It comes back with a small amount of mouse/keyboard use. I am hoping that with the help of the anti-inflammatory medicine I'm taking now that I can scrape by for the next 5 months after which point I want to take a backpacking tour of India. If my wrists don't hold up it means that basically I am looking at a career change out of IT.

I feel the coming weeks are a big crossroad in my life..

The good things in life..

Planing is not required.

How many times have you found yourself spending hours calling all your friends to organise a night out only to have it blow up in your face at the last moment? Grace's shoe's heel broke and the ground was too hot for her to walk bare feet on. Bob was partying too hard at work and decided you should come and meet him - he didn't tell you though. Shane was lying on the couch watching a documentary about worker bees thinking "why can't we be more like them"? Weeks of anticipation for the famed event, conversations about how good it's going to be, the hours picking out the right clothes (well - not for guys) all down the drain! The night gets cancelled and everyone, especially the planner, is dejected. The solution is brilliant and simple - NEVER PLAN!

How will things ever happen

A comon feeling is that without planning nothing would ever happen - as good as this would be it is not the case.

There will always be those friends of yours who want to schedule the next movie night three weeks in advance. The way to combat this is to give a non-commital answer when they ask you if you're coming. Some handy non commital answers you should know by heart in case of an unexpected invitation:

• I'm too relaxed right now to make a decision, I'll call you back.
• I don't know what my financial situation will be on
• I think I might have something on that night - this one will sit particularly well with the organiser as he will just assume that everyone plans everything months ahead and not think twice about it.

Then once you have successfully postponed your commitment, you can decide leasurly on the evening of the event whether or not you wish to attend. Annoying for the organiser - granted but oh so much easier for yourself.

Should you yourself actually wish to instigate an event lets say a Friday night outing, there is only one safe way. At approximately 6:45pm you should send an email, instant message or sms to all those that you want to attend. The content of this message should be no more then a vague outline hinting of something happening that evening. If there are any people that you *really* want to attend it is acceptable to call them, though the call should be short and to the point - you don't want to waste valuable do-nothing time blabbing on the phone. At 7pm, provided you have received at least 1 response in the positive you can head to your selected meeting place. Ideally this will be wherever you presently are - work, home etc or at worst somewhere near to you. Once you meet someone at the meeting place the evening is ready to take off. What you are doing can then be decided.

Benefits of not planing

By not planing we save in a few key areas.

If an evening does end up happening spontaniously, nobody is responsible for it. In the event of your car breaking down on a freezing night in the part of town known for its hatread of people, no one takes the blame. Your girlfriend can't pin this one on you for having 'one thing to do and screwing it up!'.

If you try to instigate an evening and it doesn't end up happening due to people deciding they don't really like you, no one is bothered and you can attempt another evening the following week, or never, either way is good.

No one has to spend any time organising the evening, this is probably the most important reason for not planing. By not spending that time organising the evening you can spend it watching TV, or eating chips.

Action to Planing ratio

There is a useful mathematical formula you can use to determine how well your skills of not planning an evening have developed. It is known as the action/planning ratio.

X = action time/planning time

Where planning time is the amount of time spent planing the event.
Action time is the amount of time spent doing things.

This ratio should be at least 12 for a properly planned and executed event. This translates into 15 minutes spent planning and 3 hours spent doing. If it starts dropping below 8 then its time to cut your losses and call off the event. It's also clear from this why we want to leave the planning to the absolute last minute, it doesn't leave any time for the planing to blow out. You really have to think of you event as a mini project, the amount of time planing is like the amount of money you're investing in the project. Experts of the no-plan method can get their ratios up over 50 while grand masters will routinely operate in the 100+ range.

The "everything works out" effect

Once you start using this method you will find that things magically start working out. Organising that night on the town will take 10 minutes and work out fantastically. If you are need to meet up with friends and don't know where they are meeting just start wandering around, you will find them. I no longer need to call anyone on my mobile in fact I don't have any credit. This even works when driving, all you need to know is the general area of your target and somehow you will reach there. This is not a one off thing either, it will happen every time - but only if you don't plan. If you try to plan by calling and asking, or looking up directions the effect vanishes and you run the risk of having a lousy time.

The Half Dinner

When you have an evening planned (or rather not planned) and you don't know what the dinner situation is you want to cover yourself either way. A half dinner is suitable when:

• You are visiting someone's place who can't cook yet says they are cooking dinner.
• You have no idea whether or not dinner will be provided/available
• You are vegetarian

Having a half dinner means you can comfortably sail through the night on entrees or nothing at all if required. You can get that warm contented look without having to eat someones bland tasteless food.

Why change a good thing?

When you are out having a good time it is always better to stay where you are rather then try to go somewhere else in the hope that the new place will be better. Newton discovered this originally, an object at rest will remain at rest unless acted on by a force. That force in this case is effort put in by you. As we have already seen no effort is better then some effort so it makes no sense to ever change locations once you are already somewhere. Changing locations also gives all the stragglers an opportunity to take off which you don't want. Arriving at your new location leaves you with a whole host of problems, finding seats, getting drinks, getting comfortable again etc. Why change a good thing?

Value of time

Free time is the most important commodity we have, and like any commodity the value of it goes up as the availability of it goes down. It is not a linear relationship either, probably closer to quadaratic or exponenntial. Lets look at this in more detail.
You have 3 hours of free time each night - lets say this 3 hours is worth 3 zorkmids
You decide to take on a second job delivering pizza (in the hope of scoring some free pizza) leaving you with 1 hour of free time each night
Your one hour of free time is 1/3 of your original amount of free time, however I would say the value of that 1 hour is now 9 or 27 times as much as your original 3 hours. This means you have to think 9 or 27 times as hard before you spend that final 1 hour

The Do Nothing

Many people are caught in the race to pack as much as possible into the weekend. We all know that by doing things in your time off you make time pass faster. Time passing faster dumps you back at work earlier then you would like. Thus the solution is simple, do as little as possible all the time. This has many benifits:

• Time passes slower thus maximizing your free time
• No motivation is required to get up and do something
• As the great Homer (Simpson) once said "You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is never try"
• You get time to think about the important things in life - "what's for dinner" and "what time you should take that afternoon nap"

In order to do nothing we must define what constitutes as doing nothing. Generally things that are not productive count as doing nothing. The following list is not exhaustive:

1. Sitting around and not thinking about anything
2. Sitting around and thinking about useless things
3. Sleeping
4. Listening to music
5. Watching TV
6. Eating
7. Reading - Useless websites (such as this one), tabloids and novels are ok. Credible newspapers and science journals are not
8. Emailing/Instant Messaging/SMSing people (provided you are not doing so in order to organise an event)
9. Computer games

The list is ordered from doing the least to doing the most. If you fill your time with only the top 5 items you have already mastered the Do Nothing. I will bow before the greatness of anyone capable of doing the 1st item, it is the ultimate goal. If you find yourself doing mostly the last 4 items or items not on the list, practise diligently every day to elevate yourself to this most high plane of existance. Any item not on the list above requires effort to do and before undertaking such an item it should be carefully considered. Calculate each bit of effort required to do you non-list item and see if you can replace your item with one of the items on the list. Some examples substitutions are given.

• Reading the financials - Reading a tabloid
• Emailing people to organise an event - emailing people for no reason at all
• Dinner and dacing outside - Eating and watching tv
• A night on the town with friends - sleeping

With a bit of thought almost any non list item can be substituted for a list item.

Combining items on the list also constitutes as doing nothing because as we all know from elementary mathematics nothing times nothing is still nothing. Combining list items with non-list items does NOT count as doing nothing, despite how illogical it is. Give these combinations a try:

• Listening to music while eating.
• Eating and reading - the more you spill on the reading material the better
• Sleeping and watching tv - this is actually possible, it just takes some practise. If a nobler persuit exists I'd like to hear it.

The Ideal Day

Once you get used to the Do Nothing you will wonder how you ever managed to fit anything into your day. Lets walk through a typical day:

Wake up fairly early, say 9-10am.
- 10-11am waking up this involves brushing teeth, taking shower, calls of nature, a little sitting around to fully wake up.
- 11-12 Breakfast
- 12-1 Read something useless
- 1-2 Watch some tv
- 2-3 Lunch
- 3-5 Afternoon nap
- 5-6 Waking up from afternoon nap
- 6-7 Thinking about dinner and watching tv
- 7-8 Dinner
- 8-12 Watching TV, surfing the net and reading useless stuff.
- 12pm- 10am sleep.

As you can see there's very little time in your average day for doing anything, let alone fitting in an 8 hour block of work. When I'm on holidays I often wonder how I manage to slip 8 hours of work in that jam packed day. From this it's clear that there is absolutely no time to do anything in the 4 hours or so after a day of work. No commitments should be planned during this time and in a perfect world you could spend all of it watching TV, though realistically things tend to interrupt leaving your TV quota for the day short.

The three day week

If somone asks you what your goals are and you tell them you want to reduce your work hours to 3 days a week several expressions will pass across their face:
Excitement - This is their subconcious mind bursting through crying "yes that's exactly what I want too!"
Confusion - This is their rational mind trying to comprehend what you are saying, perhaps struggling with the idea of doing nothing for a whole day.
Dissapointment - The culmination of their thought process, they will scorn and tell you that you should be motivated, inspired, driven to succeed in life!

If our goal however is idleness success is guaranteed and minimal effort is required, only the initial courage to demand your right to a 3 day week is required. Being idle during these three days will grant a person enough time to think about the important things in life and eventually to invent the next light bulb. If all of society were to become idle the flow of brilliant new ideas would be overwhelming, societies progress may actually be faster then in a 5 day a week society.

Three day weeks will also have a natural equalizing effect on society. Each person would be employed for less of the time therefore more people would need to be employed to complete the same amount of work. Unemployement would go down increasing the disposable income of the previously unemployed while the already well off may have to take a slight cut in their wages. The tradeoff of course is that everyone works only 3 days and has time for 2 days of golfing and cricket each week and a good two days to recover before the next week. The disparity between rich and poor will at last become smaller rather then bigger, white collar and blue collars will be playing poker together, CEO's will be smoking cigars with shoe shiners!

"Never put your eggs in one basket" is as true today, as when it was written. With a standard 5 day week lets say there are 3 people working on a project, each person is responsible and knows about their own little piece of work. One person decides to leave the company which means there is now no one left who knows about that persons work. The other 2 people run around yelling 'the sky is falling' then sit down, lose several handfuls of hair and work out what it was the other person was working on. If however the week was only 3 days, there would be 6 people in the company doing the same volume of work. Two people would know about each of the 3 areas. If any one person decided to leave the other 5 people would look around, comb their luxurious wavey heads of hair and continue as if nothing had happened.

When people are relaxed and happy they work better then when they are burnt out and miserable. People working only three days will naturally be happier then their counterparts working 5 days, and will therefore produce more then them. There is a good chance that anyone working three days a week regularly will produce as much if not more then a person working 5 days. The poor souls working 5 days a week will be miserable, unproductive and start wondering when it all started to fall apart.

Unfortunately the 3 day week can never happen while the 5 day week is in place. It is impossible for the two systems to run simultaniously because of the reluctance of a society as a whole to try something wild, untested and unproven in practise. This reluctance is completely illogical as the discourse on this page has proven theoretically that the 3 day week will work. As everybody knows, theory and practise always agree. If any person is so fortunate as to be living the dream, our hearts go with you, you carry the hopes and dreams of a generation - we will live on vicariously through you for eternity!

Best time to take holidays

Most people make the mistake of taking their main holidays during the holiday season The best time to take holidays about one month before the holiday season, generally about the October Novemeber mark. It will be possible to get a few weeks off in November to do your standard holiday items (see 'The Do Nothing') landing you back at work early December. This is just enough time to go back to work, catch up on the news and email then hang up your boots again for the Christmas/New Years period. It is quite easy to get the few days between Christmas and New Years off, everyone is doing it and people quickly forget that you have just been on a long holiday. Some people will marvel at your brilliance and perhaps learn this most valueable of lessons from you. Taking your holidays in November is truely a win win situation.

Jesus and Miracles

I am not a Christian but I do have some Christian friends and they recently gave me a bible to read. I have some free time on my hands so I did start reading it originally with the old testament, but giving up on that because it seemed very childish, moving on to the more factual based books of the new testament.

The main thing that struck me was that the books of the new testament were written 40-80 years AD. I immediately voiced my concern to my Christian friends and was directed to
http://www.christianity.net.au/you/ and http://www.carm.org/questions_bible.htm which did help to clear up a lot of things, I'll outline the main points.
Jesus did exist
Jesus probably had some mystical powers
Jesus was crucified

Fair enough, I don't have too much trouble accepting these points. I suppose the main reason people put so much faith in Jesus are his supernatural powers, he is not unique in possessing such powers. These powers have been known for centuries by Indian yogis as siddhis, they can be attained by performing certain yogic practices after several months effort. People are born with these powers manifesting to a greater or lesser extent, Jesus obviously had been gifted with them to a greater extent. This is straight from the Wikipedia entry on Siddhi.

• Parkaya Pravesha: Parkaya Pravesh means one’s soul entering into the body of some other person. Through this knowledge even a dead body can be brought to life.
• Haadi Vidya: This Vidya or knowledge has been mentioned in several ancient texts. On acquiring this Vidya, a person feels neither hunger nor thirst, and can remain without eating food or drinking water for several days at a stretch.
• Kaadi Vidya: Just as one does not feel hungry or thirsty in Haadi Vidya, similarly in Kaadi Vidya a person is not affected by change of seasons, i.e. by summer, winter, rain, etc. After accomplishing this Vidya, a person shall not feel cold even if he sits in the snow-laden mountains, and shall not feel hot even if he sits in the fire.
• Vayu Gaman Siddhi: Through this Siddhi a person can become capable of flying in the skies and traveling from one place to another in just a few seconds.
• Madalasa Vidya: On accomplishing this Vidya, a person becomes capable of increasing or decreasing the size of his body according to his wish. Lord Hanuman had miniaturized his body through this Vidya while entering the city of Lanka.
• Kanakdhara Siddhi: One can acquire immense and unlimited wealth through this Siddhi.
• Prakya Sadhana: Through this Sadhana a Yogi can direct his disciple to take birth from the womb of a woman who is childless or cannot bear children.
• Surya Vigyan: This solar science is one of the most significant sciences of ancient India. This science has been known only to the Indian Yogis; using it, one substance can be transformed into another through the medium of sun rays.
• Mrit Sanjeevani Vidya: This Vidya was created by Guru Shukracharya. Through it, even a dead person can be brought back to life.
• Laghima: becoming almost weightless

Jesus clearly had some or all of these siddhis, as I stated before I am not a Christian and from the parts of the bible I have read Jesus can be seen to be excercising the following siddhis.
Laghima: Became weightless when he walked across water Matthew 32:58
Mrit Sanjeevani Vidya: Used this to bring Lazarus back to life, John 11:32
Surya Vigyan: Used this to convert the seven loaves and fish into enough food to feed four thousand Matthew 16:32

I have met men who have some of these powers including Swami Vikasananda of Nagpur who passed away recently (90s) and had the ability to change the size of his body and appear in multiple places at once(or possibly teleport). I have not personally witnessed this but my grandfather has on several different occasions and told me about it at great length. I met another man by the name of Rahul Rohith who had the power to heal bestowed on him by a Muslim holy man. He would use this power to cure serious illnesses such as cancer as well as less serious ones such as chronic aches and pains.

Then there are cases such as the meditating Buddha boy http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/south_asia/4479240.stm who went without food or water for 10 months.

Common things you will find with enlightened spiritual men are

They will never try to convert you from one religion to another

They will never actively recruit disciples

They will NEVER demonstrate their powers when requested by people, if they do use powers it will be with great care and discretion.

They will never speak of themselves as being great in any way

They will never say that their teaching is the only way to reach god

Some people who fall into this category, there have been many more but these are the ones I know of off the top of my head:

Sri Sri Ravi Shankar

Swami Chinmayananda

Eckhart Tolle

Siddhartha Gautama the Buddha

Swami Vikasananda

Maharishi Mahesh Yogi (debatable due to the whole Beatles Mia farrow incident)

Paul Brunton (debatable but he was definitely on the path)

Unfortunately it is difficult to place Jesus in this group because he fails on all of the key measurements. He actively recruited disciples, encouraged people to follow only him, demonstrated powers without restraint and spoke of himself as the only son of god.

So it seems that either Jesus was misquoted or he was misguided. Still having hope that he was simply misquoted which is highly likely given the large gap between his death and the time the gospels were written I began to read the gospels of Matthew and John in the new testament. The rational here is that they are both eye witnesses with independent accounts of Jesus' life and teachings, if they agree on Jesus' teachings then it is more likely that his words have been accurately captured. Unfortunately it seems that the gospels do agree with each other suggesting that Jesus does not meet the criteria all other enlightened people throughout history have met. I will continue to hold on to the belief that Jesus was indeed a truly enlightened holy man but that his teachings have been diluted by the inadequacies of human memory during the 40 years between his death and the writing of the gospels. The teachings would have been further mangled by passing through a filter of the authors own interpretation and understanding of the words.

The words that have been placed in Jesus' mouth have caused countless deaths in wars and bloodshed over the centuries. This is unfortunate because it seems we will now never know what it was that Jesus truly taught. This is my 2c, please don't assassinate me!

Money and Happiness

Well I know this topic has been done to death over the years but I thought I'd add my 2c worth of random rambling.

Firstly it is clear money is not proportional to happiness. Money is required to meet the basic living requirements of life which are:
Food
Shelter
Clothing
Utilities (Electricity, water etc)
Transport (To/from work/leisure activities)

In cases where these basics are not available more money may in fact mean more happiness or at least more comfort. Beyond this however the correlation is not so straight forward.

People who chase money to accumulate material possessions tend to have a raging fire of craving and desire burning within them. When one craving is satisfied instead of dousing the fire it is like pouring petrol on it. The fire rages larger and they move on to acquiring the next item on a never ending list.

Such an endless pursuit of money and goods leaves the person with very little time in which to enjoy the fruits of their labour. We only need to look in the more affluent suburbs
to the rows of mansions that act more like bed and breakfasts to the families that reside there. This lack of time to relax and unwind leads to the cliche of the modern stressed out go getter taking relaxation classes after work unable to play catch with his kids on a Saturday morning.

Once the wealth has been accumulated there is always the danger of losing it. This adds more stress and worry to an already packed schedule. We see large insurance policies, careful tracking of investment portfolios and a keen eye for any sign of economic trouble.

Status is another big reason for accumulating wealth and possessions, I mean who wants to be seen driving to work in a beat up old Ford? This leads to a largely inflated ego and a tendency to look down on those less fortunate in life. Why talk to the cabbie on the way home, what could he possibly have of value to contribute when he hasn't even got a university degree? Yet ironically its the cabbie who has the widest range of experience, hearing stories and opinions on a daily basis from the poorest to the richest members of society.

Yet no matter how much money is accumulated you can always find another who has more. This leads to feelings of jealousy, anger and resentment bubbling to the surface. Unable to see and enjoy what has already been accumulated the person can only see what they don't have.

What about those people who don't spend all their time chasing money and material possessions? Well I would have to say I fall into this category and it still does not lead to happiness. Having more time is fantastic, it allows you to do things you want to do and to ponder the unanswerable questions in life. You come to realize that money is not the answer but don't know what is.

Human beings may be genetically programmed never to be happy with what they have, this would make evolutionary sense. Always trying to get the bigger chunk of food or the bigger cave would give you the best chance at survival. To possibly risk your life to get it, you better have a strong motivation - the thought that once you acquire it you will be happy. Of course if you were happy once you acquired your cave, food, weapon of choice you would have no motivation to do anything else. In this way the mind has learnt to constantly dangle the carrot of happiness in front of our eyes and keep us blindly raging forward.

Perhaps the answer lies in spirituality and religions of the east which is the direction of my present search. Or perhaps it may be that money inherently leads to unhappiness, I.E if you have money you cannot have true and lasting happiness. The answer may be in the simple life of the farmer, who grows enough to feed himself and his family, trading or selling just enough to fulfill his basic needs in life, never knowing or caring where the world at large has gone. Ironically, much fame and wealth awaits the person who can find and spread the true solution to this problem.

The 7 Meditation Stages

Years ago I was reading a book called Peace of Mind by Ian Gowler, the book basically dealt with a technique of meditation geared towards curing cancer. The most important thing I got out of the book was a clear explanation of the various stages of meditation you can expect to pass through as you approach liberation. Gowler has compiled the list of stages not just from his own experience but by taking a survey from many skilled meditators. This scientific approach appeals to me because it shows that these stages are not unique to any one person or magical in any way. If you continue to lay briks you will eventually end up with a wall, in the same way if you continue meditation you are bound to progress through each of these stages. I am personally finding this list of stages and the descriptions of body sensations to be quite accurate so this has confirmed it beyond a shadow of a doubt for me. I have copied the list below, have a look through, see where you are currently, then I will talk about where I am up to and how I got there.

Stage	Description	State of awareness-experience recorded	Body Sensations
1	RELAXATION PHASE. (This is not the Relaxation Response. It is a time for concentration on the method of physical relaxation – a transient stage leading from normal consciousness into a more relaxed mental state.)	Most people start by feeling self-conscious, particularly when first learning. They wonder if anything will happen, hope no one is looking. It is common to be conscious of mental activity (many thoughts usually) and to feel some frustration, especially if a beginner.	Feeling the body relaxing. Frequently you become aware of areas of physical tension and feel that tension relaxing.
2	PATCHY CONCENTRATION. The concentration is patchy - sometimes good, sometimes wandering off onto other things.	You are conscious of concentration on the meditation technique. There is a constant stream of thoughts that often you get caught up in. ( This is like watching a TV movie when you get so absorbed in the action you forget you are at home watching, you feel like you are in the movie.) Then regularly you come back to an awareness that you are thinking and want it to stop. If not careful, you can get frustrated. Highly subject to being distracted by diversions like inner thoughts or external sounds/activities.	Feel physically relaxed – often this is described as feeling heavy and warm, soft and loose. Actual degree of physical relaxation will increase with time and practice.
3	SUSTAINED CONCENTRATION. Single-minded concentration – now the attention is held on one subject. The thinking is still of an intellectual, analytical type.	The mind is becoming stiller and more focused and there are just occasional unrelated thoughts passing by that do not disturb this basically calm, relaxed state. The intruding thoughts may be current ones or memories and may sometimes produce an emotional response. Fairly regularly there is a conscious awareness of observing these thoughts now and seeing them in a more stable perspective. Often still feel aware of needing to use a technique to maintain this stage.	Body often feels like it is light and there may be sensations of floating. Very occasionally body movements like swaying occur. Usually described as a very pleasant sensation.
4	CONTEMPLATION Single minded concentration again, but now the thinking is of a more abstract, intuitive type.	Gaps between awareness of thoughts widen, and you experience moments of stillness. Usually you have lost awareness of using a technique. Sense the value of the stillness, find it very satisfying and want to enter into it more deeply – often find it elusive . Often gain minor insights and have creative ideas.	Often described as "funny feeling". The body seems light and as if it is expanding beyond its normal boundaries. Often strange at first, then described as extremely pleasant. The feeling in the head is often described as like having an anesthetic, or a state of reverie.
5	TRANSITION. A definite stage, bordering between stages 4 and 6. Most people are aware when they are in this stage, and it requires skill to pass through.	Feel like something is happening, like entering a new level of consciousness. Often described as being on the brink of something extraordinary – both empty and full at the same time. About 25% experience vivid fields of colour, 5% sounds, 5% visions. Often try to record the experience with their intellect and this mind activity prompts a return to level 4. Here people often consciously need to let go and launch into 6, which takes confidence.	Body feels light, expansive. Usually feels much bigger than normal – like blown up with a pump and is furry around the edges. Very pleasant once accustomed to it.
6	UNIFICATION	This is a new level of consciousness marked by an absence of everyday thought and a powerful sense of unity. There are several grades of experience: Poor recall. Not sure if asleep or not but it feels different to sleep. People who have this experience regularly usually not major changes in their health and wellbeing. Heightened alertness. A mystical experience that is difficult to describe to another. Comes with a sense of being an important part of something much bigger than yourself. Being conscious of old memories surfacing from the past. Being able to view them like a dispassionate observer and release them. After-effect is not to erase the memory but to take the intensity out of any pain that may have gone with it. (C can occur to a less effective extent in stage 3 especially; occasionally in stage 4)	No awareness of body or surrounding environment. An experience beyond the physical body, space and time – like death might be, and because this experience is recorded, it frequently removes all fear of death.
7	ILLUMINATION	Direct perception of Knowledge. New information comes to your awareness with the authority of a revelation. Produces a very assured, satisfied state of inner knowing. Invariably has a quality of a gift from a higher power, and again, produces a pervading sense of order and unity.	As for stage 6.

I have for the past several years been meditating and according to the list I would place myself as sitting most of the time in stage 2 and for brief periods of time moving into stage 3. On the 10 day Vipassana course that I recently took (see my post further down) I would say that I was regularly able to get to stage 3 and 4. Thoughts were still, mind was focused and the body was feeling quite strange. On the last day of the course I would have to say that I glimpsed for about 30 seconds stage 5 and as is written in the description felt that I was on the brink of something extrordinary. Since the course ended I am again back down to my usual stage 2/3 oscillation, I guess you need a lot of skill to be able to move higher amidst the din of everyday life. Stage 4/5 are amazing though and I long to glimpse at stage 6 and 7 in the pursuit of true and lasting happiness!

I thought I'd post this most valuable of lists so perhaps others could also start guaging their progress in a scientific manner, good luck in your meditation!

Vipassana meditation course

Yesterday I got back from a 10 day intensive meditation retreat, intensive is an understatement, this is an extreme operation of the mind and body. I undertook the course in Blackheath, a small town located in the Blue Mountains about 2 hours west of Sydney. I have always been interested in spirituality and have been meditating for the past several years. During my meditations I have had enough strange and exciting experiences to convince me that there really is something worthwhile to be gained from meditation. I feel it is something which cannot be bought with money or learnt by reading spiritual or philosophical books, it just has to be experienced. I had a few months off from work and am going through a difficult period in my life so I thought I might as well try the course out, it would give me a chance to do some intensive meditation.

The main dining hall which is where the initial registration takes place has an amazing view of a valley dotted with small clusters of houses and large expanses of bushland. In the morning the fresh air hangs damp with a soft mist that excites the senses with the feeling that magical things are possible here. The sounds of the birds and the breeze penetrate into the layers and begin almost instantly to wash away the built up layers.

The course itself is 10 days, you are actually there for 12 though, one day either side to settle in and settle out.

The Rules

Noble Silence - This is probably the hardest to observe, essentially it means no communication whatsoever with the other students. This includes hand gestures, eye contact as well as verbal and physical communication. The idea is to make you feel as though you are on the course in total seclusion and achieves this goal fairly well.

Introspection - No entertainment materials - diaries, mp3 players, mobile phones books etc are all outlawed. This is a time for getting to know yourself rather than losing yourself in activities.

Segregation of sexes - The course is open to both males and females however it is split into two sections. The only time males and females see each other is in the main meditation hall but even here they sit on opposite sides. This is to minimize distractions, just as well because there were a lot of very attractive young women with me on the course. Had we not been separated I don't think I could have achieved anything with my meditation.

No dinner - Two meals are provided, dinner is not one of them. It feels like this would be a real killer but since you don't do anything all day except meditate you don't get too hungry. New students can have 2 fruits and milk if they wish at dinner time, students that have undertaken the course before may only have tea.

On top of this there are other rules but these are relatively easy to follow such as:

No killing - This as far as i'm aware includes animals and insects.

Strict vegetarian food - Food is provided and you can't bring your own so this isn't an issue.

No telling lies - Well because of the noble silence rule you'd have to be telepathic and project your thoughts into someone else's mind to break this one.

The Schedule

This is where it really gets you, essentially you wake at 4am meditate all day until 9:30 pm with breaks at 6:30-8 for breakfast, 11-1 for lunch and 6-7 for "dinner" and 9-9:30 for brushing teeth etc. Practically it works out to be about 10 hours of meditation each day. It sounds like a lot and it is, but once you settle in it doesn't seem so bad. The most difficult part are what I like to call the hours of pain, these are three one hour compulsory meditation sessions in the main hall. They are 8-9, 2:30-3:30 and 6-7, during the first three days students are allowed to shift their position during these hours but after day four everyone is expected to sit statue of Buddha style without moving for the whole hour.

Meditation in the hall is normally done by sitting on the floor, a selection of different types of meditation cushions are available and you can arrange these however you like for the most comfortable position. One amazing thing is to see the infinite number of ways these cushions get positioned. I used to think there was only one comfortable way to sit on the floor - cross legged but every person there managed to arrange the cushions and position themselves uniquely. If you are unable to sit on the floor chairs can be provided.

My Experience

Day 0 - Arrival

I arrived on day 0, as I stepped within the course boundaries for the first time I was flooded with a brief but overwhelming sense of peace. The only other times I have felt that is at the Vikasanada and Chinmayananda temples in Nagpur and Mumbai. I signed up and they showed me to my room, it was a 12 person dorm but there was only one other person in it, later that night even he got moved out leaving me in there alone.

I was a bit anxious about my ability to meditate for such long periods and talking to some of the other old(who had done the course before) students didn't help. They all told me that the first course is a nightmare and that I was right to be worried.

At 8pm on day 0 is the initial meditation session where you see the meditation hall, set up your cushion and sit for half an hour in a guided meditation from the teacher. As you approach the hall the cone of silence descends and you are instructed not to speak again until the end of the course. The first meditation session for me was terrible, I couldn't concentrate at all with the teachers voice blaring away. The technique they asked us to do was simply observe the breath, this is basically the technique I use at home so it was not a big stretch for me. My mind however was not yet still, it was buzzing with the hum of day to day activities and would constantly shoot off in every direction away from my breath.

So I went to sleep on day 0 with doubts about the usefulness of my being there ringing loud in my ears.

Day 1-3

Days one to three were fairly uneventful, we were required to simply watch our breath which I was to some extent able to do. One thing that was growing on me though was a strong headache. This was not the first time I had a headache from meditation, it normally comes when I sit and meditate for longer than 1 hour and was one of the worries I had going into the course. It was getting reasonably intense by the end of the day though it was significantly better in the morning. This started to get me a bit depressed, was it going to mean the end of my meditation efforts, the end of my chances of spiritual enlightenment? Asking the assistant teacher (the teacher is in India and teaches via tapes and videos) about it didn't give me any answers either, only a simple 'well sometimes these things come up just push through it'. In terms of actual meditation quality, I was tending to get one half hour of really good meditation. This was meditation where I had no thoughts and was able to keep focused on my breath, though short these sessions were giving me a growing sense of peace and balance. I made a resolve to do my best on the course and if the headache was still there at the end to give up meditation forever with the understanding that it was doing me harm instead of good.

Day 4-5

Day four is the day we were actually shown the Vipassana technique. This basically involves focusing the attention on every part of the body in sequence and trying to feel the sensations there. Eventually you start to feel a tingling and flowing energy throughout your entire body. After trying the technique for a while I felt I would get better results using my own technique which was simply to try to stop the thoughts (or let the thoughts stop rather) and turn the attention inwards looking for the answer to the question 'who am I'. The headache was there with both techniques and being more practised in my own technique I felt I could accomplish more in the remaining days.

By day 5 I was getting one to two good sessions per day but realized that the sense of peace that they imbued did not carry over into my non-meditation periods. This realization struck me hard - what was the point of meditating if it doesn't help us in our regular lives. The feeling while meditating well was great but coming back to real life brought back the same storm of thoughts and worries. By the end of day 5 my headache was quite bad and I had a strong feeling that the only lasting thing I would get out of these 10 days was a severe migraine. The rational thought 'you cannot possibly injure your brain by not thinking' was so strong in my mind that I refused to accept this headache was due to my meditation even though the correlation was quite clear.

Day 6-8

Well day 6 I decided to start experimenting with my eyes and forehead, I had read that sometimes frequent meditators get headaches from focusing too close even though their eyes are closed. So I observed my eyes and forehead and noticed that as my meditation got deeper my eyes and forehead became more and more tense. After trying a host of different positions for my focus, eyeballs, eyebrows and forehead muscles I settled on one with my eyes just slightly open, relaxed with my forehead/eyebrows ever so slightly raised. It was difficult to meditate with this position initially since my attention was constantly diverted to my face but slowly it started to become second nature.

Over the course of days 6-8 I noticed my headache improved dramatically, by day 7 it was almost gone and by day 8 it was completely gone, not even bothering me during the deeper meditations I was having. My meditation steadily improved as well and by days 7 and 8 I was having almost half the sessions with absolutely no thoughts and complete tranquility inside.

During the break periods I would find myself lying on the ground somewhere staring at the sky observing the clouds. When I was young it was always so easy to see vivid images in the clouds but as I grew older it became more and more difficult. Now, viewing the clouds with the calmness of mind that I had shapes and images materialized so easily, vehicles, animals, people all morphed seamlessly into one another in a smooth cotton dance.

By day 8 I became desperate my goals for the course were very unrealistic - I wanted nothing short of complete spiritual enlightenment. I began to meditate as much as possible, this included break periods and for the most part my meditation went quite well but did not seem to get me any closer to enlightenment.

In one of the last sessions of the day, while meditating in the hall I began to feel a pressure on my head and eyes. I remembered reading on some of the Erwod forums that LSD takers often experience pressure before the ego leaves their bodies. So I waited patiently the energy wasn't building but stayed constant until I felt a tingling in the top of my head followed by what could only be described as a volcanic explosion. I felt the energy pour out the top of my head and flow down over my face and shoulders, it left my swaying and I had to consciously steady myself. My eyelids started fluttering uncontrollably and I had to open them and calm down for a few minutes. Overall quite a pleasant experience, as if something deep within had been released.

Day 9

Day 9 is the last day of serious meditation because on day 10 the vow of silence is broken. So on day 9 I put all my efforts in meditation, every minute that I could I was meditating. The experience from day 8 was nice but again it was only fleeting, I longed for something more permanent. All through day 9 I had the worst meditation, my thoughts were all over the place and the doubts about the usefulness of the course were running high. After the 6-8pm video where the teacher discusses various aspects of the practise and philosophy I felt beaten, nothing was gained I thought as I had my night time shower and prepared for bed.

One more quick session I thought, so I sat down on a chair in my room and immediately my thoughts slowed and I made a resolve not to get up until the demon of sleep started banging on my door. My thoughts stopped completely sinking me in the deepest meditation of the whole course. After about one hour something quite strange happened - my thoughts were already stopped but for a few seconds I felt as if I had just been injected with some kind of opioid drug(I've never taken any but this is how I imagine they'd be). Then for the next 15-30 seconds or so I had the most intense feeling a nothingness I've ever felt. It was a powerful blank void and I saw a fairly intense red hue in my eyelids. Perhaps this is the preliminary stage of the ego leaving your body. As soon as this started happening my analytical brain kicked in with its thinking 'what is this, this is new, very nice, I hope it lasts...' and with that trickle of thoughts the state was gone.

I was still in a very peaceful state so I continued and after a little while something else started happening. I felt like my head was being inflated like a pump, it started out as a very subtle feeling and got more intense. As it got more intense I started to wonder if it was dangerous but realised all I was doing is sitting there so it couldn't possibly be dangerous. It got to the point where I felt like my head was going to explode and then just dissolved away. Not sure how useful that experience was but it was definitely interesting.

Day 10-11

Day 10 is when we broke our silence, I finally got to meet these 25 others who had up until this point been ghosts in my peripheral vision. I met some very interesting characters, the one thing I noticed about all of them was that they were not driven by money and career ambitions, this was a refreshing change from the people you normally meet my age in the city. Normally I get bored meeting people and making small talk but with these guys it was interesting to hear their experiences on the course as well as the tales of their lives. Most people reported having some physical experiences but were unable to correlate that directly with a tangible benefit, fairly similar to the way I felt. The really amazing thing though were the tales of travels everyone had. Everyone there had seen the world - really seen the world not some sheltered tour or by motel hopping from tourist spot to tourist spot. Really seen the world, living in different countries, hitchhiking/busing about, taking in the full experience. I was most astonished that almost everyone there had seen India in this way while I being Indian by birth still have not had the chance to do this. I made a packed that sometime this year I want to quit my job and tour around India looking for a Guru. It is said that to reach enlightenment you really need the grace of a guru and that when the time is right you are bound to find one.

Final Thoughts

The course is definitely worth doing, I don't know if there were any lasting benefits but the memory of my deepest meditations on the course will ensure I never stop meditating. The course itself is a bit of an emotional roller coaster but I suppose this is what you sign up for, if there was no challenge to it then it wouldn't be worthwhile. The day of returning from the course I remember entering my house and noticing things I had never seen before. The trees outside looked stunning, the yard and garden was beautiful and the whole area was peaceful. This feeling lasted for about a day but has now worn off. I haven't been able to get my meditation at home to anywhere near the same level as where it was on the course, the mind constantly shoots to useless thoughts. The best thing the course has given me is a glimpse of where it is possible to go with meditation when you are really focused, hopefully one day I can get back to that blissful state I experienced on the course and above all hold on to it. As part of this blog I'll try to keep posting any interesting experiences I have while meditating.

This is the end

Well I've finally done it, started a blog. The primary motivating factor for this is to give excercise to my hands which have basically been on holiday for the past 2 months. You see about 9 months ago I developed what the doctors think is RSI, basically an overuse injury of my hands. I can't really understand how this can be since I hardly use my hands more than anybody else, I code during the day (not excessively and with breaks of course) and after work a little piano but mostly just watching TV. Anyway, the development of this problem last year marked the beginning of the worst period of my life. This blog will hopefully be both a physical excercise to my hands as well as a kind of therapy for my mind. I've got a few thoughts and views i'd like to get out there as well...